Monday, September 5, 2011

French Faces of EVIL

Yeah, I'm aware he's not French, but Vincent's setting the tone for this museum of True Evil!
<Spoilers Warning Yellow... these are slightly older movies, catch em  quick if you missed em!>
Over the past decade or so, the French could populate a whole wing of Batman’s Arkham Asylum with the over the top villains they’ve created. That is... if we saw a lot more incest, cannibalism and general dismemberment in the world of Batman. 
Let’s take a Midnight Madness Comments Poll of which bad guy YOU think is the most badass, or downright disturbing! ...Or to put it another way, who would you least want under your bed? Tell us why!
And now... take a tour of the French Gallery of Villainy!
Film: Martyrs
Director: Pascal Laugier

She's a good listener, but a terrible sharer
Villain: Mademoiselle
Motivation: To inspire visions of God in others
Most heinous deed: How she goes about this, and the fact that she selfishly all keeps the results to herself.
Other crimes: Skin exfoliation taken to abusive new levels
Memorable Quote:Keep doubting.” 


Film: Haute Tension aka High Tension aka Switchblade Romance
Director: Alexandre Aja

What I love about this guy, he comes through the front door!
Villain: Trucker Dude Killer (menacing performance by I Stand Alone’s butcher Philippe Nahon)
Motivation: I’m gonna go out on a limb and say repressed sexuality
Most heinous deed: Severed head blow job
Other crimes: Works for the federal “bureau” of decapitation
Memorable Quote: “You can’t escape from me, bitch.”
Film: Inside aka À l'intérieur
Directors:  Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury 


 Her version of The Shawshank Redemption's rock hammer 
Villain: The Woman
Motivation: Revenge
Most heinous deed: Manual C-section
Other crimes: Running with scissors
Memorable Quote: (slow burn off her cigarette as she watches through the outside window as she broods, simmering in her own vile hatred)
Film: Calvaire aka The Ordeal
Director: Fabrice Du Welz


He just wants hugs, really
Villain: Mr. Bartel the innkeeper
Motivation: Seeks Companionship
Most heinous deed:  You have to wear his wife’s polka dot dress
Other crimes: His taste in local entertainment
Memorable Quote: “Why do you leave, now you’re back? You want to step on my heart again?”
Film: Frontier(s)
Director: Christophe Gans


Table manners are about the only thing this guy has going for him

Villain: Le Von Geisler
Motivation: War criminal who heads up a family of fascist psychopath cannibals
Most heinous deed: Tie between bolt cutter snip of foot tendons and slow baked person
Other crimes: Chances are you ARE the grits at this bed and breakfast.
Memorable Quote:Hang them up! And skin the fat off of them.”
Film: Sheitan aka Satan 
Director: Kim Chapiron


A retina searing smile 
Villain: Joseph the house keeper (gleefully performed by the one and only Vincent Cassel)
Motivation: Preserve a pact with the devil
Most heinous deed: Spawning the devil incarnate
Other crimes: Casual racism and unsanitary use of delicious goat milk 
Memorable Quote: <censored racial slur>--but its even more appalling from this grinning goat herder!
Don’t forget to voice your vote, or make a case for someone awful that I’ve missed!
Look out for new additions to the gallery of French horror villains in The Incident (where an asylum is literally turned loose) and Livid (the directors of Inside return with their highly anticipated film inspired by Dario Argento’s Suspiria!)


Screening times:

LIVID
Sun., Sept. 11th, 11:59PM, RYERSON
Tues., Sept. 13th, 5:00PM, AMC 7

THE INCIDENT
Mon., Sept. 12, 11:59PM, RYERSON
Fri., Sept. 16, SCOTIABANK THEATRE 3
Sun., Sept. 18, SCOTIABANK THEATRE 2



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